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Philophobia The Fear Of Falling In Love Is Actually Real

 Philophobia The Fear Of Falling In Love Is Actually Real

Too many of us, love maybe like the sweet smell of Spring.

In fact, many of us may even idolize the idea of, "loving and being loved."

However, there are others who don’t agree.


It might be because they have a fear of falling in love.

Does this sound like you?

Philophobia, or fear of falling in love is a real problem and people who have this type of fear, often experience an overwhelming feeling when they are about to fall in love.

This often causes them to become abnormally nervous and anxious.

The mere thought of falling in love might cause them to run away. No, we are not talking about people who have commitment issues or trust issues.

Those are completely different things, here’s an example:

Let's assume that you have started going out with a person.

In the beginning, they show interest in you but they slowly distance themselves from you.

When confronted they often have a fight or flight response and can find it difficult to explain themselves.

They might even resort to lying or could deny trying to ghost you in the first place.

Even if they do enter into a relationship, they’re likely to keep things pretty casual, and will avoid getting too intimate.

Chances are if you’re dealing with a person like this they are afraid of commitment, not afraid to fall in love.

They’re probably just nervous and unsure about themselves.

The same cannot be said for people who have Philophobia.

Those dealing with this issue tend to feel anxious, avoid others and are often nervous in social interactions.

People with Philophobia can sometimes sweat abnormally, have increased heart rates and may feel nauseous in social scenarios.

So, while a commitment phobic person may be able to get over their problem of getting intimate and staying in a lasting realtionship, a person with Philophobia will probably avoid something as little as talking to you if they find you attractive.

Now, you might think that Philophobia comes from a social anxiety disorder, but that may not be the case.

You see, people with social anxiety disorder might avoid social situations because they
get nervous.

Whereas people with Philophobia may only display signs of anxiousness under certain circumstances.

So, it is possible for them to show symptoms of a social anxiety disorder, but the problem itself may not be related to it.

In fact, experts often claim that Philophobia maybe related to Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED).

It is a type of social engagement disorder that occurs in teenagers and kids who are below the age of 18.

It often prevents them from forming deep bonds or meaningful connections with their peers.

DSED is usually the result of a childhood trauma or negligence.

In the modern world, where parents are busy; making their own living, fighting among themselves or being in their own bubble for too long, a child's needs are often neglected.

Children crave affection and when they don’t get it, they become distant.

Usually, these are the children who end up with DSED.

They start avoiding social interactions and think that building relationships will only bring them pain.

As irrational as it may sound to some, they’re really just trying to avoid more pain.

Another interesting factor in people suffering from Philophobia is the likelihood of a past failed relationship.

Many of them believe that it is a vicious cycle with no end and that scares them.

They’re unwilling to take a leap of faith to find love and believe that if they get too close to someone, they’ll get hurt.

This fear overwhelms them and they can become solitary.

What's worse?

If you have this fear and you avoid the source, this phobia will only get stronger.

Which sounds horrible, imagine having a fear that stops you from making friends, forming deeper relationships and falling in love.

It’s so sad, but this idea brings us to our next question...

Do people who have Philophobia always stay single?

The answer is no...not really.

It usually depends on the person but many people do try to isolate themselves.

They prefer not to have any sort of bonds with the outer world.However, there are those who may choose to walk a different path.

They might want to feel loved and jump from one relationship to another.

These people may even have many partners, but might not open up to any of them on a deeper level.

Like we said before, it varies from person to person.

So, if someone is suffering from this phobia should they be worried?

Well, that’s a difficult question to answer.

According to many experts, people with Philophobia may socially isolate themselves as they grow older.

Isolation is not necessarily a good thing and they are opening themselves up to depression or substance abuse.

Now, you may be wondering if there is a way to treat Philophobia.

Well, for starters this phobia isn’t included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM).

Which means it’s highly unlikely that a doctor would be able to help with this issue. However, psychologists with enough knowledge on your social, medical and psychiatric history, could be able to help.

Treatments usually include therapy or lifestyle changes depending on how severe the phobia is. Since this is a fear that grows when someone isolates themselves, people are often encouraged to go closer to the source of the fear.

Which in this cause are social interactions and relationships.

This should not be done impulsively though, and there are many ways to close the gap between the source of the fear and the person who has the fear.

The most effective one of them is…

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Also known as CBT, it helps people to deal with their phobia.

This procedure helps individuals to identify their fears, its source and slowly but steadily change the belief system and negative thoughts that are related to that source.

When it comes to Philophobia, it is important to understand the source of the phobia in order to eliminate the fear.

The process is gradual and individuals are taught to accept the pain as a learning experience.

This takes time and won’t happen overnight, which is why it is important to be patient.

The individuals need to put themselves through several hypothetical scenarios regarding relationships where they can play out in their heads how those relationships would go.

They need to think logically and ask themselves questions such as "What will happen next?

Am I okay with this?

What if the relationship works out?"

Doing this on a constant basis for a few months should help them develop a positive outlook towards relationships.

Another option, which we have already mentioned, is …

Changes in your Lifestyle

Not major changes, rather minor ones like adding meditation, breathing exercises and relaxation to an individual's daily routine.

Meditation will help to stay focused and calm their nerves, while breathing exercises will help them deal with anxiety.

Relaxation may be used to put someone in a positive frame of mind as well.

This is all a bit subjective as different people will have different ways to relax, like reading novels, watching movies or listening to music.

Philophobia isn’t something you have to be ashamed of and there are ways of treating it.

You just happen to have an irrational fear of falling in love, but if you do have this phobia, you can overcome it.

If you know someone who is dealing with this problem, try to be kind to them and help them overcome their fear.

It will take time so be patient and try to understand the source of the fear and help them develop ways to overcome it.

Everyone deserves to be happy and being more positive will help you to start attracting positive people.

You may have been hurt in the past and you may have experienced a lot of pain, but never give up on yourself.

You will gradually rise above your fear, like a Phoenix rises from the ashes.

Do you know anyone with Philophobia?

Do you think that falling in love might be painful?

Let us know in the comment section below.